Confessions...

I am officially diagnosing myself with Obesophobia, which is the fear of gaining weight. Over the last couple years this fear has increased. I cringe when I think of myself putting on weight and hate the fact that I have put on 20 pounds since the beginning of the summer. Those are 20 pounds that I really do not need on me and I criticize myself on a daily basis. While in high school I slightly had a problem with this and began having a few anorexic tendencies, which I was able to overcome but every time I started feeling down, these tendencies would magically appear again. While being married I managed to go from 105 pounds up to 150 pounds. No matter what I did, I could not get the weight off. On a daily basis Sean would criticize this weight and constantly put me down for being fat. I am pretty sure that this is what has caused me to have this phobia. It was pretty amazing that within a few weeks of being divorced, I somehow managed to go from 150 pounds all the way down to 100! I loved the way I looked! Looks like I am going to have to work really hard to shed this new weight...