Death Day...

So today is the day I have technically been dreading for a while. I absolutely hate July 1st since it is the anniversary of my dad's death. Let's be honest... I really haven't dealt much with it. My family really hates the day too... However, this year was kinda different for me. The last few days have gone really good for me. Last week I decided to once again really look into Boston because it just seems right to me... Scary but right. So on Monday I made a comment to a girl in one of my classes that I wanted to go to grad school. She works on campus as some kind of advisor and has a master's degree. She told me that she would totally help me with it all. I sent her an email that told what I was supposed to write my paper on. Then on Wednesday she started talking to me again and asked if I had received an email from her friend. I went to work right after and read it. Her friend gave me all these great ideas and informed me that UVU has an archive. She gave me the website for it and I found a contact email for the archivist. I sent her an email and she invited me to come in and talk to her today. I went in and we talked for about an hour. She showed me around the place and we talked about Simmons, which is where I want to go to grad school. She told me that it is a top school for the program I want. That excited me even more. At the very end of our meeting she asked if I would be interested in doing an internship starting in the fall. I totally jumped on that idea and can't wait! Everything finally seems to be falling into place for me and I am so grateful for that! After getting done with my meeting... I ended up going and seeing Eclipse with Whitney and my mom. It was such a good movie! I LOVED it! After the movie we went and did our yearly tradition of letting red balloons go at the cemetery. For the most part I didn't dwell on today as a bad day which was really nice for a change. I miss my dad and it still hasn't gotten easier for me but I know he is still around. About 7 months after he passed away I wrote another poem for him but have never posted it. I would like to do it now and dedicate it to his memory...

Daddy I miss you

You know that it's true.

Oh how I miss you

But what can I do?

You were taken from me on the 1^st of July

Seven months later I still don't know why.

All I know is that I miss you

All of us do

Oh how we miss you

Our lives are a skew.

Since the day

You went away

My whole life fell apart

But I will try with all my heart

To be the girl I need to be

For our family to be together for eternity.

I long to go to the temple of God

I have learned to hold to the iron rod.

I long to see you when I am there

For this I will try to prepare.

Please help me to find the man of my dreams

This has been harder than it seems.

I want a man who will treat me right

Who will totally adore me day and night.

I want someone handsome, dark and tall

Someone who will pick me up when I fall.

I really want to find this chance

For me to have a great romance.

I want someone who is spiritually strong

And someone with whom I totally belong.

Someone firm in the faith and an eagle scout

I will do my best to never pout.

Someone who will bring the priesthood into our house

He would make a wonderful spouse.

These are the things for which I long

Please don't tell me this is all wrong.

I want someone that I can cherish

And to find a love that will never perish.

I want to live like a queen and king

And be able to bring spirits under our wing.

Someone who will be loyal, strong and true

And will be there to help me when I am blue.

Please send me someone who has callings they fulfill.

Who is always trying to do God's will.

Someone who I can hold

And who I am not afraid to be bold.

Please dear father up above

Help me to find someone to love.