Its amazing how little things bring about HUGE changes... At the beginning of May I started going to a computer class hoping to get into it. I thought I really wanted to teach school... I went to the first couple of classes and ended up not getting into the class. The more I thought about it the more I thought maybe I am not cut out to teach pre-school. I think I would go crazy working with little kids all day. What do I really want to do with my life? I think the reason I have not done much with my life recently is because I don't know for sure what I really want to do. Why go through all the trouble to take classes if I am not going to use them?
So about two weeks ago I went and had a little chat with the bishop about how down and frustrated I have been lately. The talk actually went better than I thought it would. We talked about all the crap I have been through in the last few years. Thinking about that it really makes sense why I get so down. However... even though I have been through a lot look at all I have accomplished! I graduated from college, I went through the temple, I have held a steady job for the last 4 years, I was able to be present and witness one of the most spiritual things ever when my dad passed away. I have been incredibly blessed! How many times have I been so down that I forget to count the many blessings I have in my life? Too many times! This needs to change. The hatred I have held for the last few years about Sean is doing nothing to him and is only hurting me. The bishop decided that he really wants to help me out with life and so I am supposed to go back this week. He wanted me to study about the atonement and how Christ took upon himself all of our pain. We need to let go of our burdens and give them to him. His ultimate goal is to get me to be able to look at Sean and be able to actually be happy for him. I thought this sounded really hard! However this afternoon I got up on Sean and Ali's blog and was looking at it to see about their life. He looks like a completely different guy. He actually looks extremely happy with his life and deep down that makes me happy that he is happy. I really do want the best for him. Maybe forgiving and moving on will be easier than I thought.... The bishop also talked to me about how it is best for me to heal so that I can give all of myself to the person I marry. More than anything I want to get myself better so that I can do that. I want my husband to have all of me.
So once again I have been contemplating what I really want to do with my life. The old Jaime really wanted to teach however... a lot has happened to me since high school and I am definitely not the same person. I want to do something I am passionate about. I have really been thinking about getting myself certified as a Genealogist. I LOVE working on my genealogy and getting to know my ancestors and their stories. How cool would that be to get paid to help others? For me to be able to get certified I will need to take a couple classes through BYU's Independent Study Program and then pass the exam. I have decided to take a few extra classes so that I can really understand all the parts that go into it. The classes I am going to take are:
- Writing Family Histories
- The Family and the Law (which is one of the 2 required classes)
- English Language Handwriting
- US Southern States Research
- Credentials (which is the second required class)
1 comments:
I'm so glad that things are really starting to change for you and you can be happy with your whole life. :) You are a wonderful person with a huge heart. :)
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