Update...

Life has been getting back to normal finally! I haven't had a nightmare since that one night, which I am thankful for! I hope that life continues going in a good direction. As for the update on my whole "Ment" commitment. I guess I can say that things are slowly progressing with Isaac. We still haven't actually gone out on a date but he has picked up the whole texting thing, which has been nice. I have gotten brave and told him that I liked him and he hasn't run away yet, so that may be a good start. We shall see where things go from here!

Lilly...

We had quite the interesting few days with Lilly. On Sunday Kim woke up and checked on her and watched her have a seizure, which of course freaked her out. She ended up going and spending quite a few hours up at Primary Children's Hospital making sure everything was really okay. It ended up being a virus so there was nothing that could be done, except keeping her temperature down. She ended up taking her to an ear, nose and throat specialist today because she is constantly getting sick with strep... It turns out that she needs to get her tonsils out and they scheduled her to go in on April 14th to get them taken out and then she will spend the night and come home the next day. My poor baby Lilly!

Set Backs...

I woke up this morning in full panic attack mode. The past little while I have been doing great and thought I was almost back to my old self. Last night I ended up having a few nightmares that happened to include Sean,(I won't go into any detail about them... however they were pretty bad) now I feel like I am back at square one. Here I am almost 4 years after my divorce and for some reason he still makes me panic.... whether it is a dream or in real life. I have gone most of the day today at work being very cautious and looking over my shoulder. I honestly thought I was past all this. I just wish he would get out of my life completely!

"Ment"

Okay so this year has been going by so fast... So fast that I missed the start of "Ment".... In case you aren't sure of what that is you can go back to my post last year all about it....

http://jaimma.blogspot.com/2009/02/origins-of-ment.html

So this year I have been thinking about what changes I really want to make in my life. I have decided that I really want to get over my fear of relationships. I have found this really nice sweet guy that I really like but I am super scared to make any moves with him because I am afraid of how things are going to turn out. Will he turn out to be another jerk in my life? I honestly don't think he will but that fear is deeply ingrained in me. He is the nicest guy I have ever met and I don't want to miss out on any chances with him because of being scared. Not only am I scared but he seems to be that way too. He is very shy when it comes to girls and relationships so most likely I will have to be the one to make the beginning moves.... Another really scary thing for me! So hopefully over the next month I will be able to overcome this fear of mine....